Son No1 has not been kicked out of the YMCA for having his music turned up loud, but can only stay on various conditions. He really happy yesterday for the first time in months. High would be a better description. I was worried about him last week when he was despairing and wondering if there was any point in carrying on. A high, though short lived, is at least preferable.

He can get on with his life now and so can I.

I started the conservation task programme yesterday, planning all the way 'til May. I have some new contacts for work so I am looking forward to working on some new sites.

Both husband and daughter are off today with colds. Littl'un has been off for several days already and C has been struggling to go to work all week. I am back at work tonight but I have had my cold so am OK.

My day will be spent with friends, making calls, sleeping in the afternoon and working tonight. I'll pop in over the next few days, but may not blog.

Well some of it. Did the first thing on my list which was to ring the local hospital co-ordinator. I have an appointment next week now so that is done.

Did a small amount of prep for interview presentaion no 1 and now need to run up a powerpoint slideshow.

More 'phone calls today, then i can calm down a bit.

had a long chat with my husband last night and he is VERY supportive. What more could I ask?

I am reading a lot at the moment and not much else. This is my way of coping with the stress. Got a lot on with job applications and interviews, the pressure of it is making me immobile. I will be fine once over but I can’t wait three weeks to start getting my act together.
Feel nervy and ill. I hate interviews and even more I hate presentations.
I started getting that feeling of being trapped the other day, where I just wanted to walk out and jet off.
No one is stopping me do what I want in life apart from lack of enough cash and work and of course responsibility for ones kiddies and partner.
Today I have failed again to get hold of the night co co-ordinator at another local hospital to preview my potential future. Today I need to make appointments to look at the work of the other two places I have applied for jobs for. I would rather do housework, which shows you how nervous I am. I loathe housework.
I think I just lack confidence, and I hate being so weak. I know once I am there I will be OK.
OK I will go now and do an hour’s preparatory work and necessary phone calls for these interviews, and then I will feel better.
Right, thats it, big breath and jumps up. I'll pop in later.

I am now officially an acting grandma. My No1 Sons girlfriend, B, gave birth to a beautiful boy on 23rd of November. he weighed in at 6lb 3oz and is perfect to look at. No marks, the right amount of hair and, so far a peaceful disposition. B. had a short labour and is doing fine.

First time I have seen the girls parents since she got pregnant. That went OK.

She is staying with her parents and he is going to continue to live at the YMCA. I think that will be better than them moving in together at the moment. he is already moaning about lack of sleep after one disturbed night.

Interview dates for two pain jobs have come through and I got my application in for the best paid one, a senoir night role.

Due on this week so it was really hard to get it in, no self confidence. The interview is for the senior job will be in exactly a months time so I will be in the same boat.

I will have to do a presentation for one of the pain jobs and the senior job. In fact it works out quite well.

I have a basic interview on 7th of December, interview with presentation on 8th December and a serious interview with presentation on 20th December. What a warm up.

Not too bothered if I don't get the pain jobs, though would like the more senior one out of those two. Think the night one will be better suited to skills and knowledge; and it pays more.

WIll keep you posted.

Son No 1 rang up last night at nearly 11 o'clock. He was in tears. For those who don't know Son No 1 lives at the YMCA at the moment and has a girlfriend of 16 who is about to give birth.

He is really struggling. Her father has told him he can't be at the birth and are laying down the law about when he can see the baby, though it's not born yet. His girlfriend doesn't seem to have a say.

He is on a warning at the YMCA because of non payment of rent and being noisy. He will definitely be evicted if his appeal doesn't go through. Half the problem is that his benefits were stopped without warning, and then when they did restart he was 3 weeks in arrears. He has no money sense whatsoever and ADDH which they don't weem to get there. It is hard not to ring up and shout them for being so stupid and lacking care, but I know he needs to sort these things out himself.

He says he can't sleep and can't see any point in going on anymore. I AM worried about that, it's hard to judge whether he is serious. I feel bery bad about all this but he cannot come home and live with us again. The stress will tear us apart, it almost did already.

Going to see him today, hope he feels better.

Not had much chance to do more than glance over all my favourite bloggers writings in the last week.
I had a great weekend at the pictures. On Sat night I went with a friend to see Borat, not for the faint hearted or easily shocked. Nearly stopped breathing for laughing.

Last night went with husband and a friend to see Casino Royale, which was excellent, mostly, the pace slowed just a little for my liking thre qurters ot the way through. The opening scenes were amazing and that car roll was fab on the big screen.

Finally, I am SO excited. I didn't even know they were filming Eragon, and there it will be in December. The trailer is amazing and so I hope it lives up to it. Jeremy Irons is in it. Hope he doesn't do to it what he did to Dungeon master.

Must read the book again before I go see.

I spent Sunday grass raking at the a local Buddhist centre, a lovely retreat 10 miles from Derby. The weather was ok in the morning, the sun nice and warm, I was almost down to my t shirt. The afternoon was slow and painful, back started playing up. Had a nice cuppa with my conservation friends in their cafe afterwards which made up for it and they did give us lunch.

george Micheal is doing a free concert for NHS nurses, shame I will be at an interview on the day. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6149926.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6146070.stm

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm

Thats right. the time has come again when the joy of donning wellies and splashing in puddles and wading through piles of autumn leaves has come again. I LOVE this time of year. The drama of high winds and changing weather, dewdrops on spiders webs and that earthy smell.

One of the best bits is the number of birds feeding off my bird table, had to chase a cat off a few time though. There is a squirrell who comeas every day too, but he doesn't eat all the food, so i don't mind.

Put in two application forms for day jobs. One in a pain clinic and one as an acute pain nurse. I am qualified well for both and fit virtually all the requirements. Should have done this ages ago.

It was a bit stressful doing it online though. The computer was really slow and the deadline fast approaching.

I enjoyed the writing of the blurb about my good point Looking at the job descriptions made me realise how much I have done and also how I have slowed down in the last four years.

Since the summer when all went pear-shaped I think I have come to realise that where i am is definitly not where I want ot be anymore. I have been in this job since 1990. That should not go against me but my last few years of not much training will.

I have one more job to apply for where I have most of what they need. I do need to do some legwork though and have started already as well as planning to get on several small courses to support my application.

I shall keep you posted.

Looking forward to the Science Fiction Britannia starting tonight on BBC four.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/features/sfb-listings.shtml

Esp the day of the triffids.

Better still, I am not working Monday or Tuesday night for the next month

Back at work for two nights last night , and though we were understaffed, it was alright and easy going. Felt a bit strange walking in after just about three weeks off.

I have details for the three jobs I am interested in and I can do all three. There are two day ones and I will have to take a cut in pay, but maybe it will be owrth it. The other one is a more senior night job with lots of training responsibilities and challenges, which I would like also.

Don't suppose I will get offered all three so the question may never arise.
Off to bed now.

Just come home from Storytelling. Tonight it was a version of Frankenstein told by Ben Haggerty and accompanied by Sianed Jones on violin and Bass as well as computer generated sound and a harmonium.

It was really atmospheric and Ben is an excellent accomplished storyteller. Here is a pic: http://www.flyingdonkeys.co.uk/page3.html

It was very dark and touched on many of the scenes from the films over the years but didn't follow the story religeously. Felt sorry for Frankie by the end, poor misunderstood monster.

Mother and Father in Law came and several friends all turned up without pre arrangement, which was great.

One of the best things about storytelling at this venue is the cakes and tea, copious amounts of both included in the price.

Found this today while surfing. Darn, just took a load of shoes to the charity shop. I like this recycling and fundraising at the same time.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/bluepeter/content/articles/2006/11/06/appeal_news_feature.shtml

I went with a friend to a meeitng about her job today, which is at risk. She is being tolkd she has to apply for another, more senior job, which is a new initiative. I will be applying for it as there are 11 posts.

this has been coming for a while now and I have been looking forward to the opportunity for change.

Just need to ask for tips on interviews and presentations as I haven't been for an interview for a while and there will be a presentation to do.

Job is to be advertised on Friday and interviews are on 20th December, so plenty of time to prep.

Also another clinic job has come up and I will be applying for that too, though it will be less pay. It will be in daylight.

Almost back to 'normal'. I will know after this afternoon, and whether I can get through the day without an afternoon nap.

Had a reasonable weekend. Spent Saturday doing a little housework, napping and watching TV. Did the big shop on Sunday and more napping.

Went to a firework party at the in-laws last night. Didn't stay late because littl'un had school today.

Son No1 was there with his girlfriend who is due to give birth in two weeks. He got drunk and threw up, paid her very little attention and that was given because Son No2 had been telling her that sone NO1 had been 'getting off' with some girls when he had gone visiting his real mum. I can believe that he did, but he hasn't been sensible about who he told.
I am glad we have little to do with him now.

Last week he finally started his job at Thorntons. On Monday he called at 11.30 pm from one of the local towns as he had taken the only bus available there instead of into Derby. He hadn't checked out the local buses and when the last one was, which was an hour before he finished work.

I went to pick him up and he complained all the way home about the work and next day he jacked it in. He has caused me and his Nan no end of hassle just getting him to interviews and induction days. So I am not best pleased with him.

Fortunatly Son No2 has been working for four weeks solid now and seems to be getting on well with his boss.

Today is to be spent finishing off a story which I am sending off to a competition. This is the first time I have done anything lke this so I don't expect to win, it is just ot get the practice.

Hope you are all well in blogland.